Love in the Workplace: Finding Light in Dark Times

Amy Hamilton
Sep 11
12 min read

In memory of lives lost and in recognition of our shared humanity

White daisy on a reflective black granite wall etched with names, evoking a somber and respectful mood. — Shared Humanity

Today marks the 24th anniversary of September 11th, a day that forever changed how we understand vulnerability, community, and the preciousness of human connection. As we reflect on this anniversary alongside recent tragedies - the senseless murder of Iryna Zarutska, a young Ukrainian refugee who sought safety only to find violence, and the shooting at Evergreen High School that shattered another community - we are reminded that darkness can strike anywhere, at any time. Yet it is precisely in these moments of profound grief that we must turn toward love, not away from it.

The workplace, where we spend the majority of our waking hours, becomes not just a place of productivity but a sanctuary where different forms of love can flourish - not the romantic love that complicates professional boundaries, but the deeper, more sustaining forms of human connection that make us resilient in the face of tragedy and uncertainty.

The Ancient Wisdom of Love's Many Forms

The ancient Greeks understood what modern society often forgets: love is not a singular emotion but a spectrum of human connection, each serving a vital purpose in our lives. While workplace discussions of love often focus on the problematic aspects of romantic entanglement, we overlook the profound healing power of love's other forms - particularly in times when the world feels fractured and dangerous.

As we navigate an era marked by random violence, political division, and collective trauma, our workplaces become more than economic units. They become communities of care, spaces where we can practice the forms of love that build resilience, foster healing, and remind us of our shared humanity.

Philia: The Foundation of Workplace Bonds

Philia - the deep affection and loyalty found in strong friendships - represents perhaps the most natural and necessary form of love in professional environments. It's the connection that emerges between colleagues who have weathered challenges together, who celebrate each other's successes without competition, and who offer support during difficult times.

In the aftermath of tragedies like those we've witnessed, philia manifests as the coworker who notices when someone is struggling and offers a listening ear. It's the team member who takes on extra responsibilities when a colleague is overwhelmed by grief or stress. It's the bond forged through shared purpose and mutual respect that transcends job titles and departmental boundaries.

This form of workplace love is built on trust, reliability, and genuine care for one another's wellbeing. It doesn't require grand gestures - often, it's expressed through small acts of kindness: bringing coffee for a stressed colleague, remembering personal details that matter to someone, or simply being present when the weight of current events feels unbearable.

Philia in the workplace creates psychological safety - the knowledge that we are surrounded by people who genuinely care about us as individuals, not just as productive units. When news breaks of another tragedy, when the world feels uncertain, these friendships become anchors that keep us grounded and remind us that goodness exists alongside darkness.

Storge: Creating Family-Like Bonds

Storge represents the familiar, comforting love typically found between family members - and in the workplace, this translates to the kind of unconditional acceptance and support that makes teams feel like chosen family. This is the love of the mentor who guides without judgment, the colleague who provides stability during chaos, and the workplace culture that embraces people through their struggles as well as their triumphs. The love existing in a small family business passed down through generations.

In times of national or global trauma, storge becomes the warm embrace of a workplace that feels like home. It's the understanding that we don't have to be "on" all the time, that our humanity - with all its vulnerabilities and pain - is welcome in this space. When a colleague is devastated by news of violence against refugees like Iryna, or when a parent fears for their child's safety at school, storge creates room for those emotions without demanding they be compartmentalized or hidden.

This form of love manifests in workplace policies that prioritize human wellbeing: mental health days, flexible schedules during times of crisis, and leadership that acknowledges when world events make it difficult to focus on routine tasks. Storge is the institutional memory that holds space for people during their darkest moments and celebrates their resilience as they heal.

Organizations that cultivate storge create environments where vulnerability is not seen as weakness but as the foundation of authentic connection. When team members can bring their whole selves to work - including their fears, their grief, and their hopes - the workplace becomes a source of strength rather than additional stress.

Agape: The Selfless Service to Others

Agape - the selfless, unconditional love for all people - might seem too lofty for workplace discussion, but it represents the highest calling of professional life. It's the recognition that our work serves something greater than ourselves, that our daily efforts contribute to human flourishing in ways both seen and unseen.

In the context of recent tragedies, agape is the teacher who shows up for students knowing that their classroom might be the safest space some children experience. It's the healthcare worker who tends to patients with compassion despite being overwhelmed by the world's pain. It's the customer service representative who treats each caller with dignity, recognizing that small interactions can be profound sources of healing or harm.

Agape in the workplace means making decisions based not just on profit margins or efficiency metrics, but on how those decisions impact human dignity and wellbeing. It's the manager who advocates for their team's mental health resources, the executive who prioritizes employee safety over productivity targets, and the colleague who uses their privilege to amplify marginalized voices.

This form of love requires us to see beyond the immediate transactional nature of work relationships and recognize our professional roles as opportunities to serve the common good. When we approach our work through the lens of agape, we transform routine tasks into acts of service, and our workplace becomes a vehicle for making the world more compassionate.

Ludus: Preserving Joy in Dark Times

Ludus - playful, lighthearted love - might seem inappropriate when discussing tragedy and trauma, but it represents something essential for human resilience: the ability to find moments of joy and connection even when the world feels heavy. This isn't about being insensitive to suffering, but about recognizing that laughter, playfulness, and lightness are necessary for psychological survival.

In workplaces marked by stress, uncertainty, or the weight of current events, ludus appears as the shared humor that helps teams bond, the colleague who can lighten the mood without dismissing serious concerns, and the workplace traditions that create moments of celebration and connection. It's the ability to find joy in small victories, to celebrate birthdays and achievements even when the news cycle is filled with darkness.

Ludus reminds us that maintaining our capacity for joy is not selfish but necessary - both for our own wellbeing and for our ability to serve others effectively. The teacher who can bring moments of laughter to their classroom, the manager who can celebrate team achievements even during difficult times, and the colleague who shares funny stories or uplifting moments all contribute to workplace resilience.

This form of love acknowledges that humans need respite from intensity, that our spirits require nourishment through connection, celebration, and shared joy. When cultivated thoughtfully, ludus creates workplace cultures where people can process difficult emotions while also experiencing the renewal that comes through positive connection with others.

Philautia: The Foundation of All Love

Philautia - healthy self-love - is perhaps the most overlooked yet essential form of love in professional environments. It's the recognition that we cannot pour from empty cups, that self-care is not selfish but foundational to our ability to serve others effectively. In the face of traumatic news and overwhelming world events, philautia becomes a crucial survival skill.

Healthy philautia in the workplace means setting appropriate boundaries, recognizing our own limits, and prioritizing our wellbeing so that we can show up fully for others. It's the acknowledgment that we are not responsible for fixing all the world's problems, but we are responsible for managing our own emotional and physical health so that we can contribute meaningfully to solutions.

This form of self-love manifests as taking breaks when needed, seeking support when overwhelmed, and recognizing that our worth is not determined solely by our professional productivity. When colleagues model healthy philautia, they give others permission to prioritize their own wellbeing as well.

In times of crisis, philautia might look like turning off the news when it becomes overwhelming, engaging in activities that restore our spirits, or seeking professional help when grief and stress become unmanageable. It's the wisdom to know that maintaining our own emotional stability is not an act of indifference to others' suffering but a prerequisite for being able to respond to that suffering with clarity and compassion.

Shadow Loves in the workplace: Recognition Without Cultivation

While focusing on the constructive forms of love, we must acknowledge the existence of eros (passionate romantic love), pragma (long-term practical love), and mania (obsessive, possessive love) in workplace contexts. These forms, while natural human experiences, require careful boundaries in professional settings.

Romantic attraction (eros) will inevitably occur in workplaces where people spend significant time together, but channeling this energy into appropriate relationships outside work or, when relationships do develop between colleagues, managing them with transparency and professionalism becomes crucial. The key is recognizing these feelings without allowing them to compromise professional judgment or create uncomfortable environments for others. Workplaces need strong boundaries and sexual harassment policies in place.

Pragma, the deep practical love that develops over time, can be beneficial in work partnerships but requires clear boundaries to prevent over-dependence or inappropriate expectations. Pragma in the workplace often is about exploiting the loyalty of a person while another increases in power.

Mania, the possessive form of love, must be recognized as unhealthy and potentially dangerous in any context, requiring professional intervention when it appears.

The goal is not to eliminate human emotion from the workplace but to channel our capacity for connection into forms that build up rather than complicate or harm professional communities.

Empathy: The Bridge Between All Forms of Love

Underlying all healthy forms of workplace love is empathy - the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. In times of collective trauma, empathy becomes both more necessary and more challenging. When we're overwhelmed by our own emotional responses to tragedy, extending understanding to others requires intentional effort.

Empathy in the workplace means recognizing that everyone processes difficult events differently. Some colleagues may need to talk through their feelings, others may prefer to focus intensely on work as a form of coping, and still others may need space and time to process privately. Creating environments that accommodate these different responses requires leaders and colleagues who can set aside their own preferences and meet people where they are.

True workplace empathy also means recognizing the intersection of personal and professional stress. A colleague who seems short-tempered may be struggling with fear for their children's safety at school. A team member who's making unusual mistakes might be processing grief over global events that feel too close to home. Empathy invites us to respond to behavior with curiosity rather than judgment, seeking to understand rather than to correct.

“A world without empathy is a world that is dead to others—and if we are dead to others, we are dead to ourselves. The sharing of another’s pain can take us past the narrow canyon of selfish disregard, and even cruelty, and into the larger, more expansive landscape of wisdom and compassion.”

―Joan Halifax, Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet

Building Loving Workplaces in Times of Crisis

Creating workplace environments that embody these forms of love requires intentional effort, especially during times when the world feels dangerous and unpredictable. It begins with leadership that models vulnerability and authenticity, acknowledging when world events impact their own emotional state and creating permission for others to do the same.

Practical steps include:

Creating rituals of connection: Regular check-ins that go beyond work status updates, team gatherings that prioritize relationship-building, and traditions that celebrate both professional achievements and personal milestones.

Establishing support systems: Employee assistance programs, mental health resources, flexible policies that accommodate emotional needs, and training for managers on how to support struggling team members.

Fostering open communication: Environments where people can express their concerns about world events, their fears for the future, and their need for support without fear of judgment or professional consequences.

Prioritizing psychological safety: Cultures where vulnerability is met with compassion, where mistakes are treated as learning opportunities, and where diversity of thought and feeling is welcomed rather than merely tolerated.

Modeling healthy boundaries: Leadership that demonstrates the importance of self-care, work-life balance, and emotional regulation, showing team members that it's possible to care deeply while also maintaining personal wellbeing.

The Ripple Effects of Workplace Love

When workplaces become environments where multiple forms of love can flourish, the effects extend far beyond office walls. Employees who feel supported, valued, and genuinely cared for in their professional lives are better equipped to extend that same love to their families, communities, and the broader world.

In times of crisis, these workplace communities become sources of resilience that help individuals process trauma, maintain hope, and continue contributing to positive change. They become microcosms of the world we want to create - places where human dignity is honored, where vulnerability is met with compassion, and where the bonds between people are stronger than the forces that seek to divide us.

The assassination of Charlie Kirk at Utah Valley University presents us with perhaps the most challenging test of workplace empathy and love. Kirk, a divisive conservative activist known for spreading conspiracy theories and inflammatory rhetoric, was gunned down while speaking at a university event. The tragedy forces us to confront a difficult truth: our commitment to empathy must extend even to those who seem incapable of extending it to others. This is not about condoning harmful ideologies or toxic behavior, but about recognizing the fundamental humanity that exists even in those who have caused pain through their words and actions.

"Empathy makes humans better people." Amy S. Hamilton

In our workplaces, we will encounter colleagues whose views challenge us, whose behavior frustrates us, and whose capacity for empathy seems limited. Yet the measure of our own humanity lies not in how we treat those who are easy to love, but in how we maintain compassion for those who test our patience and values. Kirk's death by violence serves as a stark reminder that hatred and dehumanization lead only to more tragedy - and that our workplaces must be sanctuaries where we practice the radical act of seeing the humanity in everyone, especially those who struggle to see it in others.

A Call to Love

As we remember those we've lost - in the attacks of September 11th, in senseless acts of violence like the murder of Iryna Zarutska, in tragedies like the shooting at Evergreen High School - we face a choice. We can allow fear, anger, and division to define our response, or we can choose love as our primary way of being in the world.

Our workplaces offer us daily opportunities to practice this choice. Every interaction with a colleague, every decision we make as leaders, every moment we choose compassion over judgment becomes an act of resistance against the forces that seek to convince us that humans are fundamentally dangerous to each other.

The love we cultivate in our professional lives - the philia of genuine friendship, the storge of chosen family, the agape of selfless service, the ludus of shared joy, and the philautia of healthy self-regard - these become the building blocks of a more loving world. They create ripples that extend far beyond ourselves, touching every person we encounter and every community we serve.

In honoring the memory of those who have been lost to violence and tragedy, perhaps the most meaningful tribute we can offer is the commitment to love more fully, to connect more deeply, and to create workplace communities that embody our highest values and our greatest hopes for humanity.

The darkness is real, but so is the light we carry within us. In our workplaces, in our daily interactions, in the small and large ways we choose to care for one another, we have the power to ensure that love, not fear, shapes the world we leave behind.

At Ash Coaching and Consulting, we believe that transforming workplace cultures begins with understanding the profound impact of human connection on organizational success and individual wellbeing. Through executive coaching, team development workshops, and organizational consulting, we help leaders and teams cultivate environments where healthy forms of love can flourish - creating resilient communities that can navigate both triumph and tragedy with grace. If your organization is ready to build deeper connections, foster empathy, and create psychologically safe spaces where people can bring their full humanity to work, we're here to guide that transformation.

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